A Note on Discretion

“Don’t tell nobody.” She whispered it in your ear.

Not everything whispered is a secret. Some things are kept discrete because they are precious, volatile or get stronger only when they are left in darkness. Some things can only be used when they are left in the box.

To live in the tell-all age is a temptation towards revealing all of one’s secrets. Yes, truth telling can be a powerful tool of transformation, and a step in self and communal healing. And yet it is wise to begin to discern the difference between those ideas and memories which can’t be spoken because they hurt so much and those things which are simply intimate.

Let us not make pornography of our relationships. Let us not report upon, televise, serialize, post, or blog each delicious interaction, each meeting, exchange or touch that we share with another. Let us keep some thoughts, some ideas for ourselves.

It is good (healing) for some to tell of the trauma they experienced. Telling is a way to get the story outside of the body. But telling doesn't always end the pain; especially if it falls on death ears.

Besides, not all secrets are traumatic.

The sweet secrets, the places of wonder, awe, passion and delicacy can be tenderly contained. Memory is a special container. The sweet things left between 'just us' are sweeter still when held as sacred.

So "Shhhhh...sometimes....don't tell nobody!"