Dweller of Heaven,
I have received your letters. 3 of them-taped to my tea kettle 3 mornings in a row.
First: How are you getting into my apartment?
Second: Why are you writing to me?
If you are a neighbor (you must be or security would keep you OUT of my building) this is not cool (you coming in here like this).
If this is truly some sort of heavenly intervention well I don’t think I believe in that so I’m not sure your efforts will be usable. But thank you.
Third. If you are taping letters to the tea kettle to suggest that I start the day with tea instead of coffee, well I don’t believe in that either. All I can seem to send to heaven are some sweet old Baptist prayers handed down to me from my Aunt Cattee; so I’m fixin’ to just tape this to the tea kettle again. So, here.